My dad died in 2005. I was 27.
I remember wondering how I would get through one day, one week, one month, and one year. And suddenly all the holidays and days in the year passed. Again and again. There is no pause or rewind button in life, so we have to keep moving forward.
In the first few days, everyone told me that it would get "better," but I still disagree with that statement. I think what they meant is it will get "easier." It will get easier to handle each day, week, month, and year, but the loss will never truly get "better." The loss will always have the same weight; we just learn how to deal with it more easily.
In fact, it's best if we do learn how to deal with it more easily. Fortunately, about 18 months before my dad passed on, he told my mom, sister, and me that when his time came, he wanted us to go on and be happy with our lives. He told us not to cry over him and to "imagine all the wonderful things you girls will see in your lives." He started talking about the changes he saw in his life and how many neat things were yet to happen in the world. Above all, he wanted us to enjoy it all.
I remember my dad's words when I feel sad that he is gone, which still happens to this day. I take a few seconds or minutes to be sad and grieve how I need to, but then I tell myself that he would want to look down from Heaven and see me smiling and happy.
I now try to take everything in for him and me. I stand a little longer to watch a beautiful sunset, breathe deeper when I smell a pleasant scent, and just sense everything more for both of us to fully enjoy life, as he would want for me.
My best advice is to grieve, but to also remember your loved one that you lost wants you to find joy in life. That person wants you to go on with your life, celebrate them in a positive way, and be happy.
I remember wondering how I would get through one day, one week, one month, and one year. And suddenly all the holidays and days in the year passed. Again and again. There is no pause or rewind button in life, so we have to keep moving forward.
In the first few days, everyone told me that it would get "better," but I still disagree with that statement. I think what they meant is it will get "easier." It will get easier to handle each day, week, month, and year, but the loss will never truly get "better." The loss will always have the same weight; we just learn how to deal with it more easily.
In fact, it's best if we do learn how to deal with it more easily. Fortunately, about 18 months before my dad passed on, he told my mom, sister, and me that when his time came, he wanted us to go on and be happy with our lives. He told us not to cry over him and to "imagine all the wonderful things you girls will see in your lives." He started talking about the changes he saw in his life and how many neat things were yet to happen in the world. Above all, he wanted us to enjoy it all.
I remember my dad's words when I feel sad that he is gone, which still happens to this day. I take a few seconds or minutes to be sad and grieve how I need to, but then I tell myself that he would want to look down from Heaven and see me smiling and happy.
I now try to take everything in for him and me. I stand a little longer to watch a beautiful sunset, breathe deeper when I smell a pleasant scent, and just sense everything more for both of us to fully enjoy life, as he would want for me.
My best advice is to grieve, but to also remember your loved one that you lost wants you to find joy in life. That person wants you to go on with your life, celebrate them in a positive way, and be happy.
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